i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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