Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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