I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
