Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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