I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
