he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
