she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
