so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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