HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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