mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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