That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
