Sponge bath it is.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
