why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
