she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
