I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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