sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
barbara walters just said penis...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
