I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
