someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
