Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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