best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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