In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
