can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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