i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
