Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
