just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
