Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
