yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
