you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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