I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
