i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They left me at home... I'm a liability
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
