Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
