Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
