Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
