Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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