Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
