i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
