you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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