uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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