I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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