yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
