worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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