You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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