Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
