you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
