just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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