The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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