He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
