People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
not ubering you a puppy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
