I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
