You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
