Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
